a thousand words is worth a picture
two-oh-oh-five is pretty much brushing its teeth and putting on its jammies and getting ready to say goodnight. it's funny, because lately i've spent more time thinking about things that have happened not just this year, but years and years ago, and i just have to tip my hat to the amazing manner in which what went before colors and shades what happens now and will happen later. senses and imagery, shadows and light. old photographs and new cameras. take offs and landings. reunions and farewells. and i have to scroll through my virtual album just to remember where i've been these past dozen months.
and so, what was 2005 to me? i'm fairly certain somethings about me--my personality and attitude--have changed, and for the better. at some point i cultivated patience. i curbed my anger, and for the most part, i minded my words. i made new friends, and i embraced my family. there was a lot of beauty in my life this year. it was in the ever-maturing faces of my cousins, who never cease to amaze and delight me and remind me who i am. it was in giddy late nights with friends, rehashing heartaches and telling tales. it was in hugging farther-flung friends, in exploring new territories. it was in the familiar touch and smile of someone i'd thought i'd seen the last of a long, long time ago. it was in realizing that by teaching, i was affecting people's lives for the better. it was in secretive tipsy adventures high up in some sparkling hills. it was in any number of unexpected flowers.
this year i traveled to portland and seattle to usher in ashley's birthday. i showed bunny new york city, and we wore our selves ragged. i snuck up to vancouver with my mom to surprise my nana for her 75th birthday. i roamed the rolling streets of san francisco with a notebook, my camera, and a new pal. i spent a strange and wonderful christmas with my family in vancouver.
this year i stepped up to a few plates and dove in head first, and came up swimmingly. i helmed a literary magazine. i joined the phenomenal team of writers at LAist.com, and discovered that i could now legitimately take pictures of and talk about food and get called an editor for it. i won awards for being a nerd, for having a way with words. i was published in an anthology that i keep seeing in just about every bookstore i go in to. i got on defamer.com for poking fun of the eccentrics who dress like superheroes in hollywood. i bonded with some amazing gals and we called ourselves the unicorns. i rode the buses and the subways until my folks came to my rescue and lent me their car. i shook my ass and waved my arms at concerts like phoenix, sarah mclachlan, and nine inch nails. i ate a lot of sushi. i dated a smattering of mostly inconsequential men. i felt good about saying no to things. i decided to apply to phd programs. i decided not to apply to phd programs. i took the GRE in literature, wrote a twenty-page paper, did my first grading session, and it didn't kill me. i had dinner at three different professors' houses. i improved my grammar. i maintained a straight-A 4.0 average in my master's program. i got new glasses, business cards, and seriously got serious about my makeup. my surrogate younger brother moved to chicago. i lost my uncle out of the blue and for no good reason. i baked a lot of cookies, chased down a lot of cupcakes. i went to a spa and had my first professional massage. i found out that i don't mind working out so much so long as i can do it while watching cable television. i rocked the tv-on-dvd thing pretty hardcore.
i survived... and i'm putting two-oh-oh-five to bed by singing a lot of my favorite songs, and giving it a sloppy goodnight kiss. and while this is another year when i won't be kissing someone special at the stroke of midnight, i can say for the first time in a long, long while, that i honestly don't mind. all things considered, i'm pretty happy. there's a lot to be said for persistence. i'm making no resolutions tonight, because lately i'm doing pretty well at working towards what i want; i think this year i really came into my own sense of empowerment. i've realized i'm all i need, and that's an incredible feeling. and i'm really looking forward to the great strech of unknown that is 2006.
and a thousand words is worth a picture.