it's not that i've been busier, per se, but rather that what i've been busy with has been the source of multiple seemingly unending frustration. well, actually, one of the problems has been dealt with, while the other lingers ever on.
first, the car drama. i had to surrender my only child, lola, to the people at the local toyota body shop to get her little dinged up bumper fixed. here i am, thinking this little dealio would take a couple of days. no. it took eleven. eleven days apart from lola. during those eleven days i made do with rental cars. cars, you say, plural? yes, plural. because when you pull into a parking spot in your red kia sportage (why i had to take an suv is beyond me) at target and then try to remove the key from the ignition (yes it was in park, yes, i tried pushing it in, no there was no magic button to press, yes i looked at the manual and followed their pithy instructions to turn the steering wheel left to right to loosen it)with no success, but can turn it to start the car up again just fine, you have to take the car back to the rental place and get another one. and when they ask "what kind of a car do you regularly drive?" and you tell them "a prius" they seem to think giving you a ford escape hybrid suv is comparable. i couldn't wait to "escape" that bullshit hybrid, i'll tell you that much. but lola is home, she's had her ass lift or whatever it was, the insurance paid for it, and she got a bath to boot. like the ultimate dork that i am i cooed and uttered sweet nothings at her the whole drive home. were it not for the remnant odor of fresh paint and the ashy air quality i probably would have kissed her. i'm serious.
so the other techinical difficulty in my life is my mofo phone. randomly out of the blue on monday i got a text message. from myself. that said "THIS IS A WARNING" and "DO NOT RESEND MESSAGE." since it had been a few hours since i'd sent a message, i thought i'd call my provider (rhymes with "horizon") and ask them, "say, what is it exactly i'm warning myself about?" did they know? no, of course not. they tell me to dial into some on the phone updating situation, which i did, and then went on with my life. a bit later i noticed that my phone suddenly thought it would be super fun and cool to just stop getting service altogether. then one bar, no bar, one bar, two bar, no bar, one bar, no bar--okay, you get the idea. i was out in my neighborhood, and no service wherever i went. so i went home (still nothing) and called the provider. "are you calling from your cellphone?" they ask. uh,yeah. i'm calling you from a phone that gets no service, fuckwit. the lady put me on hold for about ten minutes, returned to declare she had no idea what was going on, but that she had someone in tech support on the line. "hold on while i transfer you!" and then... you guessed it: she disconnected me.
called back. got a tech dude. answered the logical query of "are you calling from your cellphone?" once again ("how would that even be possible?" i ask him). he tells me i should go to a rhymes with horizon location to get them to "upgrade my software" and then meanwhile he'll open a ticket and they'll look into it. but, you know, since most of california was burning, i was low-priority. neato! then, the following events transpired:
1. went to phone store
2. on way to phone store notice phone works again. is it because i'm in a new city?
3. get to phone store, am told the red dot on my battery means my phone has been exposed to moisture and if they plug it in to update it i might lose everything and if my phone is working, why mess with a good thing. okay.
4. leave phone store, attempt to go to target. (see "key stuck in ignition" above)
5. phone works all this time, including when i'm at the rental car place, back closer to my house.
6. get home, phone works all night. call mom to tell her i'm not burning, she asks "what are you talking about?"
7. in the morning, phone doesn't work again. one bar, no bar, one bar, no bar.
8. on the way to work phone works. is it because i'm out of my neighborhood?
9. phone works on campus. call, hang up, still have service. sweet!
10. phone works at home, too! oh happy day! call, text, talk, smile.
11. darling boy arrives next morning for... oh, oops, that's not about my phone! :)
12. miss an incoming call and it goes to voicemail. once call ends, service drops.
13. discover if i turn the phone all the way off then on again i get service back.
14. discover that i can make or receive one call, but once it's over, i lose service and have to turn it off then on again. fun! fun! so much fucking fun!
15. discover phone does this even in another neighboring neighborhood. hmmm...
16. phone works on campus. reverts to one call then nothing back at home. wtf?
17. phone seems okay, then i miss a call from rhymes with horizon. when call is done, service disappears. this time i can't turn my phone on again after turning it off, except when it's plugged in.
18. wonder: should i just say FUCK IT and get a new phone? this little pink razr bastard is less than one year old!
19. begin to take photos of all my txt msgs because they are so ridiculously precious to me.
20. dial into voicemail, and when i hang up, i still have service. okay, so no new phone?
this is where you came in. i don't know what to do. i just know that i'm annoyed at all these small pesky inconveniences. and that i'm glad that my life is great and everyone is healthy and happy and not homeless thanks to fires or other tragedies, but for the love of god, i wish my phone situation would just figure itself out. is it me? the phone? the service in my area? a curse or hex? this is my only phone and it's my lifeline to some very important people. i guess i'll just have to wait and see. meanwhile, um, if you need to reach me, might i suggest email?